#& honestly

[1337wtfomgbbq]

SO 'HYDRA TRASH PARTY' PREDATES 'DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT'?!? IS THAT WHAT YOU SAYING!?!

A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)

[mari-gt]

a flower for a cutie

[reality-detective]

This 👆 Guy is Great...

SPOT ON - “I’m actually starting to believe that President Donald Trump is black! “He says whatever is on his mind … he say everything that all the rest of these motherf*ckers was scared to say!” “I’m convinced Barack Obama was not a real n*gga, man!” 😂

If you don't like what President Trump says, it's probably because he is rubbing your demons the wrong way. 🤔

[marmot-bee-person]

👏 Padmé 👏 is 👏 not 👏 a 👏 pedophile 👏

She was kind to a 9-year-old child who was enslaved or recently freed the entire time. She did not encourage his crush on her. She did not like him back.

The next time they saw each other, they were both legal adults. Yes, it was kind of an age gap but not that bad. Also, still not pedophilia because it was a consensual relationship between two adults. If you apply the (widely accepted) half-your-age-plus-seven rule then it’s fine.

Also! Han and Leia have a much worse age gap. Han is literally closer in age to Anakin than Leia. And I don’t think Hanleia is that bad! I have mostly neutral feelings about it but that’s nothing to do with the (large but not too insane) age gap!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[pococurantina]

apparently true crime "documentaries" are now including people who HAVE NOT BEEN CONVICTED. surely this doesn't mean anything bad at all

[va1entina48]

be so fr

[wisejudgedragonhairdo]

Right.

🙄😒😒

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[curiouslymyown]

James: *dancing on tables in the great hall*

Regulus, lovestruck: ugh he’s such an idiot

Some other slytherin: yeah he is

Regulus: HEY

Regulus: that is MY idiot

Regulus: get the fuck out of here

[disasteraleks]

Guess whos back

[katoobee]

yknow, i never got the vibe that UF!papyrus was abhorrent and abusive

goofy edgy dweeb energy /pos

i love his style i love you fell paps

[wisejudgedragonhairdo]

EXACTLY.

They knew and they didn’t care, that’s all the explanation you needed

[lunarlivs]

me <3 this werewolf

remus as pics from pinterest that reminded me of him

[goldenenene]

volume warning///. i mean this is pretty much what happened right

[ruleofheart]

desperately needing best friend! ellie who is just so much better at handling horror than you are.

it starts with ellie slyly handing you a ticket to an upcoming horror fest; fright frenzy. you’re not one for actual horror attractions– it almost takes too much to get you to sit through an entire movie. so, as you the eye the ticket with worry, ellie interjects.

“we’re going,” she declares, leaving no room for argument. “dina and jesse, too. next friday.”

“next friday?! it’s only september!”

it’s how you end up in line for a haunted house, your eyes lost in a daze as you try to put on a calm front.

see, ellie is someone who can appreciate a good scare. she’s grown to think that most jumpscares are pretty cheap, save for the creative ones that actually get her to say, “that was sick.”

she’s someone who doesn’t even flinch at elaborate costumes, usually complimenting the actors and asking for a selfie with the zombie with amazing sfx makeup.

she’s someone, and probably the only one, who sees through your little front. with dina and jesse too caught up in their own conversation (behaving like those abysmal couples in line), she nudges your shoulder, pulling you out of your internal hype session.

“hey. you can hold my hand, if you want.” it’s soft, but with a hint of a knowing smile.

and once you get inside; oh, you take her offer and run with it. you end up pressed into her side, her arm wrapped around you. your eyes tucked away in the crevice of her shoulder as she dips down to talk you through it (sheesh!). her voice is low, and it would probably drive you crazy if it weren’t for the guttural screams and sound effects erupting at every corner.

since ellie is handling herself just fine, she whispers to you as she sees the jumpscares ahead of time.

“clown coming up. god, he looks so corny.”

“hey, hey; you’re doing so good, it’s almost over.”

and when the lights flash a little too much, her hands come up to cover your eyes, her sweet words filtering into your ear. ugh, you could almost die.

and it’s the way that she bites back a smile when she drives you home. the way you try to subtly tell her, i don’t wanna sleep alone tonight. the way she nonchalantly offers for you to stay over at hers, promising to keep a comedy movie on until you fall asleep.

you end up sleeping in ellie’s bed, your whole body trying to wrap around and snuggle into her arm as she looks down at you, her heart skipping curiously.